| My memories shot. Shot like a wound, bound, sound, hound. Like a hound…howling in the night. So my sight, might make a fright—then I’ll cause some light…on all the things I’ll fight. Once again i’ll run back to my ruins, the little home I’ve placed my belongings in. Come full circle once again until I can’t cry any longer. I’m homeless in a pail—specifically a lunch pail. Let me loose damnit, I’m crying for christ’s sake. Sake, sake, like the Japanese drink. They say to relax so I take a shot, but then I’m shot, shot again. |
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| my thoughts are beyond me for now. but hopefully i can catch up to all that i dream of::: and what i dream of is that i'd be more than what i see around me, which isn't too much to ask of myself.
for now--i'll rest my superficial ambitions to take ones that will hopefully better my whole existence. What are these new ambitions? "i know not how to tell thee who I am, my name dear saint is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee"...memorize more literature? lol...jk---i cant believe i remember that...
anyways, resolution #1:
1.i'd like to wake up early every day. thus, be more PRESENT in my own life---i dont think donald trump got to where he is by sleeping in every day.
resolution #2:
2. Don't chase after excitement. I always find myself in some type of dilemma because of decisions i made or things I did out of or for excitement. In the end, its all fleeting...right?
resolution #3:
3. Go to 24 at least 3 times a week. lol...although i've grown to hate the whole gym environment. (there's just SOMETHING about guys who work out only at the gym and don't play any sports---and i mean something not good).
life, you've proven to fumble me once again...but like i say all the time, without all these hardships, I don't know where I'd grow any personality.
So thank you, broken relationships, stressful jobs, and bad hangovers...ok, not bad hangovers...but thank you struggles...i wouldnt be me without all your drama.
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| There's something so delightful , so exciting, and so terribly scary about self-discovery.
I find that the very moment my passions reach some sort of pinnacle, my life has this way of humbling me:
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in this sort of downward spirial that is crippling.
But it's only from this viewpoint that I realize there are so many routes I can take back up. This joint can't tie me down anymore---
and im out, quicker than a light. |
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| there are triangles that grow within this fantasy world. two times the eligable stances that grow deep within the veins. they wsurround like a mocked bird, and i am free-not in the existance of what i thought. but i am above now. floating within this mid air. catch the time as it flies between the willow trees. ah, there now they grow, whispering of old age and surrounding the permiter with deep, shallow tape. red, its the color of your hair. and i'll stick with it-like the butter in your gum. there are trains now that i've got to catch. silly putty and cloth detergent. but i doubt they say it like that. the fast run even slower and catch the flames of indecency. but theyre only indecent because they decided to flock to mexico. but then theyre not a flock.
i wrote this with my eyes closed. |
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